Phobias

For a girl who enjoys cute cloths, pedicures and the color pink, I am actually pretty tomboy-ish. I like getting dirty, camping and playing with cars. Heck - I even want to go into a profession that’s male dominated. I can handle spiders, mice and bugs with the greatest of ease. However, put a snake in my sight and I turn into a panic attack, hysterical freak.
I've always had a phobia about snakes. When I was little my grandpa used to tie rubber snakes into his fruit trees to keep birds from pecking the fruit, I wouldn't walk under the trees with the snakes. Also prior to moving to Folsom my family lived in the Mojave Desert. On the desert they have snakes there called Mojave reds and greens and they're very deadly. Every morning before I could go play with my toy box toys that were outside my mom would have to go dump everything out to make sure no snakes had crawled in there during the night. In the evenings I wasn't allowed to walk across the street to my friends’ house without a parent with a light because the scaley, slithery, cold blooded reptiles would slither onto the road for warmth.
My phobia has only gotten worse. One time while driving to a picnic for the bank Rick worked for, I ran over a snake that was in the middle of the road. I cried the whole way to the park (not for lose of the reptile but because I was convinced that snake was going to get me). Once I arrived at the park I sat in the car hysterically crying refusing to get out of the automobile. After 30 minutes of Rick inspecting the car from the outside to make sure the snake hadn't somehow attached itself and was waiting to bite me - I finally got out of the car. At the state fair a couple of years I was walking with friends by the booths, one of the vendors had a beast size python slithering around – uncaged. I flipped my lid. I screamed like someone was stealing my purse and took of running in the opposite direction. When my friends finally caught up to me, I was so hysterical I couldn't tell them what occurred. After I had finally calmed down - I spent the rest of the day looking behind me and on the ground, praying that large beast hadn't fled its bohemia habitat to find and attack me.
You would think as I grow older and wiser (ha!) that common sense would slip in and I would realize the feelings of despair I have would slow down and disappear. However, yesterday proved that age does not stop this phobia.
My trainer has this great new addition to our workouts. After a set of squats, knee raises and calf lifts - he thinks its real fun for us to "get some fresh air" by going outside and running down a hill to mailboxes and then running back up the hill (everyday I think he gets a little more masochistic). To begin with I hate this because I hate running. I don't get how people run for pleasure (I have a friend Becky, who is an ultra runner - in June she's running the Western States which is 100miles. Love her - but she's crazy! Check out her blog to see all about her prep for this race http://beckyjsacto.blogspot.com) so the fact that I am doing it for exercise just makes it suck that much more. Out the gym door we go, I am of course lagging behind trying to avoid the inevitable. Out of the corner of my eye I see movement in the flower bed - my full attention is taken to a squiggly wiggly thing - I scream and run quite faster than I am sure Evelio has ever seen me move back to the door of the gym. Rick checks it out and says he didn't see all of it but thinks it was only a lizard. My response - don't care close enough - not gonna do it, gonna go back in - hit ya up when your done running the hill. Rick and Evelio persuade me to come out and walk around to get to the hill. I run the hill (or rather walk it). And back in for another set - the whole time I am watching the door to make sure the little spineless bastard doesn't come in. Second hill run happens without incident. Again inside for 3rd set - I am getting a little more paranoid now, constantly looking at the floor. During the 3 hill run I again see movement and I freak running up the hill once again faster than I think my trainer has seen me move before. Once inside I go to the bathroom and completely lose it. Hyperventilating, crying, pacing - the whole 9 yards. It took a couple minutes to pull myself together but once I had finally gotten a modicum of control I went and finished my workout. All the while chanting "I HATE SNAKES. I HATE SNAKES." I am telling Evelio Wednesday - no more outside running - sorry Charlie I have my mental health to think about here!
With summer coming I am frightened by the thoughts of more and more of these things popping into my life. Can you buy snake repellant? And if not – WHY NOT? I am not afraid of having to wear deer urine or wolf fecal matter – I’ll do whatever it takes to keep them away, close to becoming a shut in. Any ideas?