To challenged to wear shoes

I got up a little earlier than usual this morning specifically to find an outfit that matched my very cute new shoes (Can't beat Payless BOGO for cheap summer sandals). I even ironed a pair of pants specifically to wear with them (I never iron for work). So dressed to match my shoes I head out. All the while thinking to myself – Hmm, these aren’t very sturdy. I get to work and unbeknownst to us today we had a fire drill – I work on the 3rd floor. 3 floors of stairs down and by the bottom my feet hurt and I was most saddened by the prospect of these being labeled uncomfortable. Luckily since my job doesn’t require much movement away from my desk, I was fine until lunch. While at the store buying lunch, I was thinking “why aren’t these shoes more comfy? Should I have gotten a smaller size? I just don’t get it – how do women wear these, how do they keep them on?” I pondered this idea while on my way back to work. When I got back to work it finally dawned on me – MAYBE I should tie the ribbon AROUND my ankle instead of behind my heal (which is how they were tied at the store). Once on at my desk, I switched the ribbon and low and behold – suddenly these shoes stay on my feet! Suddenly they’re not uncomfortable – imagine that (see the picture of said shoe below – NOTE this is off the payless website – the ribbon in the store made it look like it went to the heal not the ankle!!). Now my feet are riddled with blisters from wearing them wrong for more than half the day.
Moral of this part of the story – I am too retarded to put on shoes alone.