Mad at myself

I am irritated. Irritated at myself. I am irritated that I allow people to bully me around. I am irritated at myself because I let people make me feel like I should do things I don't want to do. Why do I do this? Why do I allow myself to be bullied. I am unsure. Maybe it goes back to watching my mother allow people to bully her my whole adolesence or maybe it goes to I was taught you always sacrafice yourself to make someone else happy. It could also be my overwhelming desire for everyone to like me. Regardless of the reason I don't like that I allow it.

Its funny because I have a strong personality. I am a strong person. I just have no ability to stand up to people when the arguement comes down to being either my feelings or theirs, I always let theirs win. I'd really like to say that I am done doing that. That I am done keeping my mouth closed about what I desire to let the desires of others be the main focus. But alas, I know that will not happen. Maybe its something I need to work on.